Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
