Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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