I just cut my nipple shaving
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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