I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
