so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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