Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
