That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
