At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
