The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
