what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
