it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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