Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
