Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
