3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Can I color on your dick again?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
