I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
