There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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