Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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