As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
don't judge my taste in strippers
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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