i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
