Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
