brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
