So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
