11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
