From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize