people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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