I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
