She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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