Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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