So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
