in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
