My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
