Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
