and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
But break dance skills will only take you so far
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
