alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
