DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
