Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
