I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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