think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
