I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
