You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You don't make any sense
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