how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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