Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
