that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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