Your face is a jimmy john
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize