I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize