I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
