hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
she smelled like a LAN party
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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