Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
so much tequila, so little girl.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
