That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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