Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize