I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
