I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
