Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
40s are totally the cure
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
