Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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