Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
