it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Come share oat with me in your robe
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
