I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize