jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
My breasts were aching with rage.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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