He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
