Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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