things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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