I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize