The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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