Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
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