My brain says no but my pants say off.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Randomize