I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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