Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
