U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
