covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
