I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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