you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
