and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
