You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
