What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
