the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
