Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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