Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
